


To Denounce the Evils of Truth and Love

by saturnineIlluminatus



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Genderbending, Marriage Proposal, Rejection, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-14
Updated: 2012-04-14
Packaged: 2017-11-03 16:09:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/383382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saturnineIlluminatus/pseuds/saturnineIlluminatus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The pain of rejection sure hurts. So much in fact, that John Egbert is about it end his own life. He had been tortured, beaten, and abused by childhood bullies, but rejection was the final blow.</p>
<p>Written by my good friend Walt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Denounce the Evils of Truth and Love

A young man sits idly in his bedroom. Elbows against his windowsill, he gazes outside. By day, he would see childhood memorabilia: a tire swing, an old pogo ride, but tonight, he sees only into the depths of his dark, scarred depressed mind.

He reminisces over the happenings of the past half hour. He remembers the last part of their conversation, the last words reverberating through his skull. "I'm sorry."

He reflects on those words. _Did she really mean it? Was she sorry?_ As he thinks he comes up with one final question. _Why?_

_You're a fool,_  he thinks, _a joke. That's why._ "Because tihs is too soon, and I'm-- I'm torn between you and-- and someone else, and I can't do it. I-I'll mess everything up." Her words ring through his mind.

The young man rises from his seat at the window. He turns to face his bed, reliving the night, but quickly turns away, recalling the pain he just experienced there. He leans against the wall in utter desperation, thinking aloud. "Stupid."

He exits the room, climbing out of his second story window. He grabs the edge of the roof and pulls himself up. He heads, not to the chimney, but rather, a small crevice next to it. Inside is a small red box labeled: 'John's Stuff'. The box had been there ever since the third grade when he had met his first of many bullies. _Red-- just like her eyes._ Over the years the box had held many items: vintage cards, games, pictures, and other nonsensical objects discovered to be overall trivial in his life. The box, however, now contained only one item.

He removes the box from the crevice and carries it back down into his room. He takes his seat at the window once more and continues to recall his actions. A small thought flashes through the back of his mind: a brief memory of a nearly forgotten promise of eternal love. Tears run down his face, and he removes his glasses as he begins to cry.

Memories stream through his mind. He recalls every moment that they had ever shared together: the happy ones, the sad ones, all of them, vividly replaying in his mind. He finally understands that they would never happen again. They couldn’t "just be friends". He would go mad knowing what almost was. He couldn’t live with that.

She was the reason he held onto life day after day. She was the reason he was alive right now. She was the reason. It was she.

Blinded by tears, he wanders to the door and into the hallway. He pauses at the mirror and gazes at himself. His shaggy black hair had become even more messy than usual from running his hand through it in thought and anger. He makes his way to the closet, and he pauses, considering what he is about to do. He takes a single object from the back of the closet and walks back to his room where he grabs a blank sheet of notebook paper from the messy pile on his desk and replaces his glasses. He scribbles a quick note.

 

Dani,

As the cold, grimy hands of depression  
grip me, I can think only of how easy  
it would be to end it all right now.  
I have decided to. You’ve broken my  
heart beyond repair. You were all I  
had to live for. I trusted you with  
something more important than my life:  
my love. As I remember the times  
we’ve shared together, I only  
realize that we’ll never share these  
again. It wouldn’t be the same.  
I couldn’t live with that. I hope  
you understand why I have  
to do this. I couldn’t imagine a  
worse pain than living without  
you in my life. I love you.  
I’m sorry. Goodbye Dani.

With the sincerest of love,  
John

 

He places the box on top of the note. He places them both on the desk, his fingers trembling. He ties the knot, his fingers remembering what his mind isn’t thinking. It happens quickly. Almost in an instant, the noose is tied, and he readies himself for the hanging.

He recalls their times together once more, moves the chair under the noose, and hangs it on the ceiling fan. He glances at the clock: 3:00 A.M.

_ It’s sad really: my life. I came into this world seventeen years ago and grew up with one friend. The one person I never thought would betray me like that was the one who struck the final blow. Funny how things work out, huh? _

He stands on the chair, puts the rope around his neck, and takes a few deep breaths.  _ There's no turning back now.  _ He hesitates for a moment.  _ If they didn't care then, why would they care now?  _ He finally convinces himself. He takes one final breath and quickly kicks the chair out from under him. 

\--------

A young woman wakes in her bed, her face stained with dry tears. She glances at the clock: 10:00 A.M. Deciding she will visit John after what happened last night and try to explain the situation to him, she gets out of the bed to drive to his house. She gets in her car, not caring to take a shower, or even to change the clothes she fell asleep in the night before. It was urgent that he understand.

She arrives at his house and knocks, finding the door to be unlocked. She finds the house strangely empty.  _ His dad must be on a business trip. But still, it's weird for John to not be awake yet. _ She makes the trip upstairs, admiring the family portraits of him and his father. The trip seems to take a lifetime. She was nervous, but she wasn't sure why.

She knocks on his bedroom door, calling aloud as she does. "John?" There is no reply. She turns the knob and slowly opens the door. She gasps in horror, seeing his body hanging from the ceiling. She begins to weep. She notices the box on his desk, and picks it up. She had seen the box before. It was the first time they had ever kissed. He had retrieved the box from his pocket and retrieved a necklace from it and gave it to her. But that was years ago. She sees the note on the table and picks it up, slipping the box in her jacket pocket.

She calms herself down a little bit and attempts to dry her tears. She leaves the room and reads the note. Tears begin to spill from her eyes again.  _ This is all my fault.  _ She takes the box back out of her pocket and takes out an engagement ring.  _ I can't believe I was stupid enough to say no.  _ She slips the ring on her finger and calls the police.

\--------

A casket lies open to expose the body of a young man, found dead the day after he hung himself. "We are gathered here on this day to mourn the loss of a loved one…" Dani zoned out, recalling the fateful day that she found him. She stands vacantly until the preacher is done speaking and places a single rose on his casket, the engagement ring reflecting the sunlight as she does. "I’m sorry."


End file.
